The Journey/Throwback

So I'm at the end of my trip to California. This is the first time I've ever been away from both Chris and my Things this long on anything not death or tragedy related. I got to see friends I haven't seen in a decade, reminisce with the best of them and create new memories with new additions to their families. I even got to celebrate a friend's success at a new business venture and attend the unveiling of a brand new beer. (Even in the economy folks are gonna get their drink on and I got the pix to prove it!) So all in all, I had a blast! I spent time with my sister and walked along the pier hand in hand with her like we used to when I was a kid. We ate the best foods, drank the finest wines, (and beer!) and laughed hysterically at any and everything.

You would think I'd never want to leave this lush green Ireland-like land of beauty that crashes into waters so pure and blue and races toward the most awesome sunsets this side of the Pacific Coast. Well, you're right. I'M NOT READY TO GO HOME!!!! Thinking about it makes me want to cry. But what makes me want to cry even more is my permanent memory of Thing One singing all the words to that Avatar song about 'still believing' and 'fireflies' or watching Thing Two's rendition of River Dance. I thought I would be fine without them both for the week, and where I have talked to Chris, neither one of them has made time to talk to me! (Except that once when Thing One called on Sunday, the day after I arrived, and told me his best cousin was acting like a *pause* IDIOT for not letting him do what he wanted to do). I talk to Nia (their best cousin who flew in just to provide that extra special mommy care in my absence) and no one wants to get on the phone with me...... So is it that I am actually more attached to them than they are to me, or is it that they are having such a good time with Nia instead of an everyday mundane ordinary time with me that they could care less if I'm there or not?

Either way, I miss my Things terribly and can't wait to get back to them. I had my fun, this journey of mommy vacation is complete and I am thoroughly rested and satisfied. I will probably never take off this long again in life from my family but I have learned that short trips of me time are needed for my own physical and mental health.

Now for a throwback moment since I haven't been home to gather the goods on the Things to give you for the week:

When Thing One was about 5 years old, I introduced him to one of my favorite cartoon movie collections, PEANUTS and Snoopy. I still love those Charles Shulz characters yet I don't know if I learned any life lessons from them as I was growing up. Thing One certainly did. If you remember, or not, in Snoopy Come Home, Snoopy leaves Charlie Brown because they have an argument of some sort. Before he leaves he removes his collar and hands it back to Charlie Brown as a final act of complete separation from him. Well, not the same day as I recall, but sometime after seeing the movie, once or fifty times, Aidan has an argument with his Uncle Eden as they often did. However this time was different in that Aidan must have been so angry he wanted nothing more to do with his uncle from that point on. Aidan was sitting in the kitchen eating dinner in a long T-shirt and his underwear trying to verbally combat with his older twin and at some point felt defeated. This kid stops talking, gets up from eating his meal at the kitchen table, takes off his underwear, walks over to his uncle and tries to hand Eden his draws……. We all started babbling in chaos because we didn’t know what to make of what he had just done or why. I finally yelped out in some rational diction, “Aidan, what the heck are you doing?!” His response was, “I don’t have a collar”. I still didn’t get and neither did Uncle Den. Chris finally interjected before I called the kiddy paddy wagon and men in white coats for little people by having us all reflect back to the scene in Snoopy Come Home where Snoopy commits this act of giving the collar back to Charlie Brown as if to say their relationship was over from that point. Aidan wanted nothing more to do with his Uncle Eden.

I calmly instructed Aidan to put his underwear back on and return to his place at the dinner table. He did and continued eating like it was no big deal. We (the adults) laughed so hard we all but up-chucked all the dinner we had consumed up to that point. Thing One’s rationalization of a cartoon completely enlightened us on how we can learn so much about relationships between adults and children or pets for that matter, from Snoopy and Charlie Brown.

The Name Game

Why is it that anger births verbal insults? I would like to say that it occurs more frequently among children, but this is not necessarily so. I try to control the tongue lashings between my son and daughter, but unfortunately, they have my blood so where there is heat, there is sure to be fire. This has become a real problem for both of them and it seems as though they just don't get the importance of respect and the new commandment #2, do on to others as you would like them to do on to you. It seems so simple, if you don't like being called anything other than the name your mama and daddy gave you then you shouldn't call anyone else out of their name.

Even at the ages of eight and six it's hard for me to conceive why this is such a war with them. Now we've all been called out of our name and we all lived to tell, but in this day and age we have cases of kids being bullied until they just can't take it anymore and the take their own lives. I don't want to be that mother that comes in and finds my child hanging from the closet door. This is why I feel so strongly about the language that my children use.

Now granted, Thing One- Aidan, is a highly functioning Autistic child. He has Aspberger's Syndrome which impairs his social skills and I expect it more from him, though I don't let him know that. Winter-Thing Two is just a chip off the old block and is not taking crap from her brother, so she can dish it out in heaps. Winter takes punches at Aidan's weight, while going for his gut, literally. Thing One on the other hand makes up random whimsical non-sense names that one must hold their breath so as not to laugh out loud upon hearing initially. (Tiny little pip-squeak turd bomber.)

As a mom, I try to impress upon them that while I prefer you to use your words instead of your hands, hurtful words can strike just as hard. They understand the concept but there is still a lack of self control I'm working on. What I wonder is if most parents are giving the same speeches behind closed doors or are they calling their own children tiny little pip-squeak turd bombers? I don't like to disparage my children nor do I want them disparaging anyone else, especially each other. What are your thoughts? Do you think this is something children grow out of or should I remain aggressive in my approach to disband the use of slurs?